STARTING YOUR DAY RIGHT - PART 1

Article By
KAYSOON KHOO

 

In an earlier article, I touched on how we should begin our day. Let's now have a look at exactly how we may go about it in this three-part article.

The minute you open your eyes each morning, remember to thank the Universe. Say the words “thank you” out loud. Let the first emotion you feel as soon as you awake be that of gratitude. This emotion works wonders when it comes to seeking blessings from Life, because unless you are grateful for what you already have, you don’t deserve more!

You have plenty to be grateful for. First and foremost, you’re still alive. Don’t take that for granted. To be able to wake up to another day is not something that’s guaranteed to everyone when he closes his eyes for sleep each night. Some never get to open them again. That’s why sleep is sometimes referred to as the “little death”. Think of that and treat each day as another gift from Life.

There are a host of other things you should be grateful for. The ability to think is one of the most precious gifts Life gives you. When you have this gift, you have CHOICE! What choice? The choice to plant whatever thoughts you want in your head. The choice to decide each and every single act you perform, as well as every single word you utter. The choice to feel good if you want to.

Feeling good is a personal choice, whatever the circumstances that surround you. You may be sweltering under the scorching sun of the Sahara -- and feeling grateful that you're not gripped by the freezing cold of the Antartica. Or vice versa. Sometimes fate sketches on your canvas of life. But it always allows you to choose the colours you wish to dab onto the canvas. In short, when you move your lips, you decide whether they should droop or tilt.

Let’s assume that the alarm you have set in your clock woke you up. You reach for the clock to switch off the din that grates on your ears, and instead knock it off the bedside table. You swing your legs off the bed to bend down and pick up the clock, and stub your toe against the thing. You feel the sudden pain, but don’t curse. Just say “oops” and leave it at that.

You go to the bathroom and find that you’ve run out of toothpaste. No matter how hard you squeeze, nothing will come out of the tube. Push down that wave of irritation that rises in you. Don’t make a big thing out of it. Just force it out gently but firmly by giving a shrug and saying, “So what?” Make do the best you can with tap-water and a dash of salt. And remember even more firmly to get a fresh tube on your way home from work today.

Anything can go “wrong” for you when you start your day. There may be sudden water-rationing or power disruption, the car may develop engine trouble, the workers of the bus service you use may go on strike – anything at all can happen.

When things happen, they either suit your convenience or they don’t. Actually, these things are neither “wrong” nor “right”. Some of them just happen. They’re unforseen and there’s nothing you could have done to prevent them. Others happen because YOU allow them to – like the car's engine trouble or the shortage of toothpaste. Whatever they are, nothing is solved or rectified if you allow yourself to be irritated.

Adopt the smart approach. Take a deep breath and ask yourself what's to be done next. It works for all the most successful and happiest people you can find anywhere.

Always choke back that curse word. Don’t let it be your automatic response every time something goes wrong in your life. It never makes you feel better or relieves your feelings. It merely aggravates the foul mood you’re already in. Giving vent to your anger or irritation through obscenity or blasphemy is not the answer. The more you do it, the more the habit grows on you. Learn how to keep it in check and abstain from it altogether. Then see how much more you’re respected and liked when you move among others.

Here’s something you can do to start your day off right. Go the bathroom, rinse your face with cold water, then look in the mirror, give your reflection a great big smile, and wish yourself good morning – out loud. And don't forget to put enough lilt in your tone. You know full well the impression a tone of voice can make. Don't let your "good morning" sound as if you're saying, "Oh no, not another day!"
 
If your name is John, say, “Good morning, John! You are a wonderful person, and a happy and productive day awaits you!"
Don't say those words by rote. FEEL that it’s indeed a great morning, FEEL as wonderful as you tell yourself you are, BELIEVE that a happy and productive day awaits you, and ANTICIPATE it.

Don’t think of this exercise as childish or inane. It is NOT! By smiling at yourself in the mirror and addressing yourself this way, you are programming the right data into the computer of your mind. All those words you have uttered have purport. Let’s examine them and see what you have just told yourself.

But before we do so, let’s first consider that smile you give your own reflection. When you smile at your reflection, it smiles right back at you. So it is with the world. When you flash a happy look at those you encounter, they’ll beam back the same warm response to you. Not ALL of them, naturally. Some may be so wrapped up in their own dark moods, they won’t have a smile for anyone. But you won’t care! What’s important to you is the lift in your spirits you feel when you give away a smile – which, as someone so aptly puts it, is worth nothing until it’s given to another.

 

 

 

( continued in Part 2 )

 

 

RICH AND POOR

Article By
KAYSOON KHOO

Two men arrive at a village together. One rides in a chauffeur-driven limousine and the other on a rickety bicycle. Their stations in life are as far apart as the north pole from the south. One has everything money can buy, the other possesses only the clothes he wears and the old contraption he pedals.

The proprietor of the village inn rushes out to welcome the man in the limousine. As the wealthy man is alighting from his posh vehicle, he notices the poor man, who happens to be cycling past.

"My friend," the rich man calls out to the other, "I would gladly exchange this limousine for your bicycle -- if I could learn to ride it. And you know I mean it from the bottom of my heart."

The poor man on the bicycle nods sympathetically. Then, as a gesture of  kindness, he alights from his bicycle and helps the rich man into his wheelchair.

HOLD ON

HOLD ON
A Pueblo Indian Prayer


Hold on to what is good,
Even if it's only a handful of earth.

Hold on to what you believe,
Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.

Hold on to what you must do,
Even if it's a long way from here.

Hold on to your life,
Even if it's easier to let go.

Hold on to my hand,
Even if someday I'll be gone and away from you.

Hold on ...
Because it's the only way anything worthwhile may be attained.

SWIM OUT TO YOUR SHIP

SWIM OUT TO YOUR SHIP

Article by

KAYSOON KHOO

Some people complain that opportunity never comes their way; or, when it does, it comes too late. The timing is always wrong. They look at people who make it, people who succeed, and put it down to luck. Or they ascribe it to the intervention of some divine source who practices favouritism.

Having drawn that conclusion, what do they do? They sit tight on their behinds and commiserate with their fate. And while they're frittering away precious moments in this useless manner, their ship comes in and goes back out to sea again without their even being aware of it. Which is to say, opportunities come and go for them and they remain blissfully ignorant.

Opportunity is nothing more than a favourable circumstance for you to achieve something. It's not always recognisable. Sometimes it plants itself right before you and you're not even aware of its presence. You have to learn how to recognise it so that you detect it as soon as it appears on your horizon. And you have to grab it without delay or hesitation. Opportunity is extremely volatile. It's like a bird that perches itself on a branch for a very brief moment. Even as you watch, it flies away, sometimes never to return.

An opportunity that allows you to attain or achieve something worthwhile is like a ship that sails into port, carrying merchandise specially for you. Sometimes that vessel calls frequently, and if you take the trouble to unload its cargo, your life is enriched.

But sometimes that ship does not come in. Opportunity seems to stay aloof from you, a stranger who does not wish to make your acquaintance. When this seems to be the case, there is only one thing you can do about the situation. You have to go out and look for what you want. You have to swim out to your ship.

Opportunties are everywhere. They take many forms because life is infinite variety. If you cannot find the type you're looking for, it could be due to any number of reasons. Perhaps you're looking in the wrong places or approaching the wrong people. Perhaps you're not going about it the right way. Whatever the reason, keep on looking.

Sometimes something quite different from what you anticipate comes your way. Consider the alternative that presents itself. Perhaps it might work better for you than what you've been searching for.

At other times you have to create that opportunity which will not come to you. Consider your situation, take stock of what you have, and put on your thinking cap. Ask around if you have to. You'll come out with a formula that works for you.

Opportunity has a strange habit of coming halfway to meet you when you go in quest of it. The harder you search for it, the closer it draws towards you. It's like a fair maiden who likes to be courted. If you display guts and determination, she's impressed. Opportunity and that fair maiden have one thing in common. Faint hearts never win them.

So stop waiting for your ship to come in. You might have to wait forever! Swim out to meet it -- against the tide, if you have to!

LADY LUCK AND DAME FORTUNE

Article by

KAYSOON KHOO

Lady Luck and Dame Fortune are very unreliable females. Their claim to fame lies in being totally unpredictable. If you have a habit of constantly depending on them, you had better change that habit.

Why are some lucky, and some not? If we knew the answer to that, all of us would be rolling in clover. It's the kind of question frequently asked by those who deem themselves "unlucky". Those who constantly hope Lady Luck and Dame Fortune will smile on them and change their circumstances for the better.

If you're one of them, here's a piece of news for you. Lady Luck and her sister are very perverse females. They show the least interest in those who pursue them the hardest. Which is to say, the more you depend on luck, the less likely luck will knock on your door.

It's also said that when Dame Fortune drops in on a fool, she seldom stays for dinner. That's a facetious way of saying that if you don't know how to properly utilise good fortune when it comes your way, your luck will soon run out and you'll be left as you were.

Always banging on luck in being impractical. It's good to be optimistic and hope for the best, but you should always conduct your affairs in such a manner that you're prepared for anything that comes your way.

If things aren't going well for you, chances are you are at fault and luck has nothing to do with it. Of course there's no denying that many successful people are what they are because they happen to be in the right place at the right time. But is not possible that maybe, just maybe, they decide where they want to to be and fix the most opportune time to be there?

Look at luck with different eyes. Tell yourself you're lucky, however little you may think you have. There's always someone somewhere who has less. Again we fall back on the method of feeling grateful to stifle the complaints against luck, fate and chance.

In any event, you're lucky to be still alive. Every breath you take gives you an opportunity to re-shuflle your thinking process and take another step towards where you want to go. If you have that much mettle and that much backbone, you're creating a condition that just might induce Lady Luck and Dame Fortune to pay you a visit. Good luck to you.

YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN

Article by

KAYSOON KHOO

You make things happen in your life. They don't just happen by chance, or fluke, or a perversity of fate. You bring them about. By your thoughts.

The brain constantly creates energy. This energy is what gives you and the world you perceive, existence. The minute the flow of this energy stops, your existence also stops. So does the material world, as far as you are concerned. That's why a man is only certified dead when he's pronounced brain-dead.

When your thought focuses on something, their frequency and intensity sends forth the energy that brings about its manifestation. There is no line to divide good and bad, right and wrong. It is like turning on a hose. Whether the water that gushes forth is used to water the plants or flood the living-room is something that lies in the hands of the person holding the hose. Which is to say, you create what YOU want in your life when you use the power of thought.

You'll probably argue that you don't deliberately will nasty accidents or unpleasant events to happen in your life. You don't, not consciously. But, without knowing it, you do it another way.

You focus on the result of what adversity brings. You dwell on grief, disappointment, pain, worry, anger and a whole host of other things nobody wants in his life. When you generate these emotions, you lay the foundation for the physical phenomena that will result in them. The more frequently and intensely you entertain these feelings, the faster you bring about that occurrence you do not want. Whatever happens to you is but the culmination of your efforts in paving the way for it to happen.

Lay a different kind of foundation. Build yourself a home of joy, not a house of pain. Watch your negative thoughts. It's extremely difficult, if not well-nigh impossible, to keep track of every single thought that goes on in your head. You can't cross the Atlantic by swimming. You need a ship. Your feelings are your ship. Lift them up and they'll provide the right kind of soil for the seeds of your thoughts to grow in.

There are countless ways in which you can give yourself an emotional lilt. Sing a song, recite positive affirmations, be optimistic, pray, think of someone you love or something you really enjoy doing. Philosophise if you have that bent. Whatever you do, control your moods. You may not find it easy at first. Persist. Insist. Don't let circumstances or your environment dictate how you should feel. You're the charioteer. Hold those reigns and decide where that vehicle should go.

Brighten your moods and the corresponding thoughts will follow. Then see how the pattern of your life changes. And you'll know that you're using your mental energy the way it's meant to be used.

GIVING WHAT IS DUE

Article by

KAYSOON KHOO

Are you one of those people who find it very difficult, almost impossible, to praise another? If you are, you're not alone. Neither do you belong to the very few. If you use your eyes and your ears, you'll know that a good many people have this drawback.

When you see someone do something which is praiseworthy or commendable, don't be a miser with your praise. Be that person your child, you student, your employee or that subordinate -- or anyone else for that matter -- don't be relucant to show your approbation.

A word of praise is an acknowledgment of another's skill or ability. It is also a very powerful encourgement and goes a long way towards motivating him to do even better. Reflect on how you yourself feel when another tenders you sincere praise.

If you incapable or extremely relucant to utter that word of praise or pay that compliment, you have to look within yourself and ask yourself why you are so.

An employer might imagine praise breeds self-satisfaction in his staff and encourages them to slack in their efforts. He couldn't be more wrong. That pat on the back will spur them to greater efforts and achieve more excellence.

A mother may feel praise will spoil her child by making him feel smug. She too is dead wrong. It will instead provide her child incentive to obtain more approval from her in future.

If you too have these misconceptions you simply have to rid yourself of them. Motivational writers like Dale Carnegie and Norman Vincent Peale stressed the importance of demonstrating one's appreciation, approval and admiration to those who deserve them. Observe it in yourself. Would you go out of your way to disillusion a person who has just expressed his high estimation of you?

There might be another very unattractive reason why you dislike rendering praise to another. Deep down you just might be jealous of the other person's ability or skill or talent. You probably feel threatened and insecure. That might explain why you refuse to acknowledge his superiority to you in a particular aspect or field.

If such is the case, you owe it to yourself to outgrow this smallness of self. If a person is better than you in a certain respect, no amount of denial on your part is going to change that. Acknowledge that fact, be glad for that person and tell him so. When you are capable of doing this, you can give yourself a pat on the back because you too are deserving of praise.