OPEN AN UMBRELLA

 

Article by

KAYSOON KHOO

Some mishaps in life you bring upon yourself. Others are beyond your control. We are all victims of circumstance at one time or another. But when misfortune strikes, what happens to you is not as important as how you react towards it.

You can turn a tragedy into an experience that strengthens and teaches you. Or you can bemoan your fate and indulge in self-pity. Either way, what is done cannot be undone.

Pointing the finger of blame serves no purpose. It won't rectify the problem or salvage what is lost. What you have to do is to consider the most sensible course of action to take next. If absolutely nothing can be done, you have to learn the wisdom of acceptance.

Acceptance is not weakness. It's coming to terms with what is inevitable in life. It's admitting that what cannot be cured must be endured. And you have greater powers of endurance within you than you imagine.

Life is like the weather. When the day is fine, your spirits are lifted. But when it pours, you have no reason to give way to despair. Inclement weather may not be welcome -- but railing against it will serve no purpose. Recognise it as one more shift in the pattern of your life. That's all it really is.

Don't complain when it rains in your life. The water will continue to fall however much you gripe. Open an umbrella.

THE NOBLER SENTIMENT

Article by

KAYSOON KHOO

There's a fine line between pity and compassion. The first merely creates sorrow within you at the sufferings of another. The second does the same, but it goes further. It prompts you to take action to alleviate that suffering.

When you see another in trouble, it's no use making sympathetic sounds and shaking your head regretfully. You might as well go your way and spare yourself the unpleasant sight. If you truly feel sorry for the other person, stretch out a helping hand. If it's not within your ability to render the kind of assistance needed, at least try to look for someone else who can. As long as you're not totally helpless, you can still do your bit.

Genuine sympathy should trigger you into action. It need not involve a lot of effort or expense. Sometimes words of encouragement and comfort go a long way towards lessening another's pain. Lending him a patient and sympathetic ear can also do the same. The important thing is to let the sufferer know that someone cares.

If you see someone dying of thirst, don't just commiserate with his plight. Develop the nobler sentiment. Fetch him a glass of water.

GLUE, NOT TEARS

Article by

KAYSOON KHOO

When your life lies in pieces all around you, you need glue, not tears. If you've already suffered one tragedy, don't create for yourself another. You do just that when you indulge in endless grief and self-pity. In times of trial you need rational thought, not weak sentimentality.

Emotion is like a drug. The more you indulge in it, the more it grows on you. And emotion is a fish that swims in the ocean of thought. You cannot experience an emotion unless your thought process is in operation.

If you've suffered irrecoverable loss, whether of property or opportunity or a loved one, accept it. Accept it because there's really nothing else you can do. Now map out in your mind what you must do next to regain equilibrium in your life.

Feed your brain with the right messages. Make positive statements to yourself and dwell on what they imply. Repeat them like mantras. Your mind will come to accept what you keep on telling it. It must because it has no will of its own. It's nothing but a vehicle. You are the driver.

Your mind is the glue that mends, heals and makes whole again. Use it the way it's meant to be used and patch up the pieces of your life. If you are the patient who suffers, you are also the physician who heals.

JUST DO IT

Article by

KAYSOON KHOO

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Whatever our plans and ambitions, nothing is going to be accomplished until and unless we propel ourselves into action.

Beware of procrastination. It is one of the most insidious vices you can fall victim to. It accounts for all those things you could have done but never did. It's responsible for so many of your failures in the past. You failed because you never got round to taking that first decisive step. Or you acted too late.

If you have this habit of delaying as long as you can in doing something, you simply have to rid yourself of it. Stop making up excuses for putting off what you should do. When you have to perform a task, tell yourself it's a matter of do or die. This may sound overly drastic, but if you're a die-hard procrastinator, drastic measures are called for.

Stop dreaming of what you want to accomplish, the goals you've set for yourself. If you keep on dreaming, those goals will remain where they are right now -- in the distant horizon. Get off your butt and let the blood circulate in your body. Act!

Think of yourself as a chef. Planning is the recipe, action the process of cooking and the meal itself the fruit of your labours. You've pored over the recipe-book long enough. Put it aside and get into the kitchen. You have to bestir yourself and stir the pan if you wish to eat, so just do it!