Article By
KAYSOON KHOO
Self-interest
is the greatest motivating force that drives you. Simply because of
that, it can be used to work FOR you when you strive for
self-improvement. Think of it as water which flows everywhere. If you
do nothing about that water, it will run into every nook and cranny
and cause untold damage and inconvenience. But if you channel it, you
can use it in ways that benefit you, such as for irrigation, water
supply or transport for floating vessels.
And
just how do you go about making your self-interest work an
improvement in you? Begin by regarding this involvement with the self
in a light that’s less harsh. Don’t think of it as selfishness or
sinfulness. Don’t regard it as something that retards spiritual
growth. Just recognise it for what it is – the predominant trait in
most humans. When you are wrapped up in self-love, you want the best
for yourself at all times. Which means you want to be your own best
friend. You want to do all the things that give you the utmost
benefit or pleasure. Therein lies the key.
You
will agree that certain traits, habits, attributes and reactions
invariably bring you grief and suffering. Let’s just take one of
them – an emotion, which like every other, is a reaction to
external circumstances or your own thought process. The emotion I
want to use as an example is hatred. When you harbour hatred, you
burn yourself up. No matter how you appease that hatred, it still
harms you because of its corrosive nature.
Let’s
assume that you positively hate another person. If you so much as
think of him, you see red. There’s nothing you would love more than
to pay him back for what he’s done to you. That person has wronged
you grievously and you imagine that what you feel towards him is
justified. Everyone else who’s familiar with the situation is of
the same opinion. Let’s leave them all out of the picture and
concentrate on you alone.
There’s
no denying the fact that the intense animosity you feel towards that
person is eating you up. You nurse that hatred by constantly
remembering the wrong done to you. You play a certain scene over and
over in your head or you commit certain facts to memory and nourish
them with the waters of remembrance. But your hate binge is affecting
your psychological and emotional health. If you continue to indulge
in it, it’s going to affect your physical well-being too. You know
that the best thing you can do for yourself is to let go, to forgive
and forget.
But
this is easier said than done. What that person did to you was really
dastardly. It takes a saint to forgive and forget. And, like most us,
you’re no saint. I’m not saying you haven’t got what it takes
to be a saint. That’s something you’ll have to find out for
yourself. But right now you have malignant growth within you called
hatred and you have to rid yourself of it as quickly as possible.
Here’s
where you let your inherent self-interest take over and serve you.
You may not be a saint but you’re your own best friend. You want
what’s good for yourself. Now ask yourself what your feelings are
doing to you. You’re actually flaying yourself with an invisible
whip because of that person.
He
has already harmed you by the wrong he did to you. Are you going to
let him keep on harming you? By no means! But the only way you can
prevent that is to rid yourself of that rage which makes you
contemplate murder. You cannot forgive him, no matter how hard you
try. Let’s leave that for the moment, and not fight it. Go back and
examine your situation. Your feeling of animosity is inflicting on
you mental torture! The irony is that it’s entirely voluntary! You
do it just by keeping your hatred alive. You’ve got to purge it
from your system immediately!
Begin
by telling yourself that you are set on a course of self-liberation.
That’s what it really is. You are freeing YOURSELF. You deserve to
be free of this canker inside you and you will have no more of it.
You want ease of mind because you deserve to be happy. Observe how
the element of self-interest comes into the picture. You always have
more incentive when you do something that benefits yourself.
Try
saying certain things to yourself, things you can believe and accept.
Say something like, “I’m
shutting that person out of my mind completely. I’m putting away
the past. I’m letting my anger go and freeing myself completely.
I’m doing this for myself. I’m doing this because it is good for
me. I can do this because I am strong. I am strong and always in
control.”
Write
down those few lines and memorise them if you have to. Repeat them in
your head again and again. Think of what those words mean,
particularly that part about it being good for you. If you keep
drumming that message into your mind, it will believe you. In time
your mind will free itself of that feeling of anger and hatred. It
WILL because it’s performing that task for that all-important
person, YOU. When you are freed from that emotion, you’ll feel as
if a heavy chain has slipped from around your neck.
Those
lines that you repeat to yourself are actually an affirmation. You
CONFIRM that a certain thing is so. “I’m
letting my anger go.” Period. That’s all there is to it, as far
as you’re concerned. You’ve made a definite statement to your
mind and you want your mind to accept it and act upon it.
( continued in Part 3 )
