Article by
KAYSOON KHOO
Are you one of those people who find it very difficult, almost impossible, to praise another? If you are, you're not alone. Neither do you belong to the very few. If you use your eyes and your ears, you'll know that a good many people have this drawback.
When you see someone do something which is praiseworthy or commendable, don't be a miser with your praise. Be that person your child, you student, your employee or that subordinate -- or anyone else for that matter -- don't be relucant to show your approbation.
A word of praise is an acknowledgment of another's skill or ability. It is also a very powerful encourgement and goes a long way towards motivating him to do even better. Reflect on how you yourself feel when another tenders you sincere praise.
If you incapable or extremely relucant to utter that word of praise or pay that compliment, you have to look within yourself and ask yourself why you are so.
An employer might imagine praise breeds self-satisfaction in his staff and encourages them to slack in their efforts. He couldn't be more wrong. That pat on the back will spur them to greater efforts and achieve more excellence.
A mother may feel praise will spoil her child by making him feel smug. She too is dead wrong. It will instead provide her child incentive to obtain more approval from her in future.
If you too have these misconceptions you simply have to rid yourself of them. Motivational writers like Dale Carnegie and Norman Vincent Peale stressed the importance of demonstrating one's appreciation, approval and admiration to those who deserve them. Observe it in yourself. Would you go out of your way to disillusion a person who has just expressed his high estimation of you?
There might be another very unattractive reason why you dislike rendering praise to another. Deep down you just might be jealous of the other person's ability or skill or talent. You probably feel threatened and insecure. That might explain why you refuse to acknowledge his superiority to you in a particular aspect or field.
If such is the case, you owe it to yourself to outgrow this smallness of self. If a person is better than you in a certain respect, no amount of denial on your part is going to change that. Acknowledge that fact, be glad for that person and tell him so. When you are capable of doing this, you can give yourself a pat on the back because you too are deserving of praise.
