THE NUMBER ONE PERSONA - PART 3

Article By

KAYSOON KHOO

 

 

Whenever you wish to implant something in your mind, you must use the POSITIVE approach. Say “I am free of anger” instead of “I am NO longer angry.” The “no” is a negation. Your mind wants an affirmation, a firm assertion that something is SO. If you give it a “no”, or tell it that something is NOT so, it will latch on to that idea and come up with no response or something entirely negative.

Of course the healthiest and the best thing you can do for yourself would be to forgive that wrong done you. Don’t laugh. It’s not impossible. If it were, those great teachers who have come and gone, those giants among men, would not have advocated forgiveness. Depending on the circumstances and upon how magnanimous you can bring yourself to be, you can direct your thinking into two channels if you wish to try forgiveness.

First, try to recall whatever good about that person which you personally know for a fact, or which you might have heard about from another quarter. If that doesn’t work, be glad that you’ve never done another the injustice that he did to you. Consider how easy it is to err. Forgiveness gives you a chance to prove to yourself how big you are. “To err is human, to forgive divine” is NOT a trite expression, even in this cynincal age. Reflect on this because it’ll help.

But before you even begin to attempt forgiveness, you have to cleanse yourself of that animosity you feel, that negative emotion which darkens both your mood and your life. Unless you first rid yourself of that poison, don’t even bother to try the path of forgiveness. It’ll never work. You’re trying to treat a sore by applying medication to it without first removing the scab.

That little formula you were told to recite to rid yourself of your animosity is self-talk that works for you. Some call it auto-suggestion. Your mind is your mental computer. The data you feed into it is displayed on the monitor of your emotions. If you really care for your mental and emotional well-being, you’ll watch out for the kind of data you key in.

The above is only one instance of how you can make your self-interest serve you. You can resort to the same method each time you face a situation which calls for a turnabout of your emotional reaction to that situation. Do it every time you are swamped by an emotion that upsets your mental equilibrium. Don’t let an enervating or corrosive emotion work havoc within you. Your emotions colour your moods, your days, and ultimately, your life. You want the canvas of your life to show a painting that lifts the spirits, not a reproduction of Dante’s Hell.

Controlling and manipulating your emotional response is not the only way you can make your self-interest serve your needs. Next time you want to try kicking a bad habit or acquiring a useful one, try thinking about how much you love yourself. The same goes when you try to undertake something which requires a lot of effort, patience and perserverence. If you ever feel like throwing in the towel, think WHO will ultimately benefit if you keep on at it until you succeed. Even if you’re not doing it for yourself but for your loved ones or your dependants or friends, the word “YOUR” keeps flashing before your eyes.

Don’t knock this human attachment to the self and don’t feel guily about it. If this constitutes sin, there won’t be a hell big enough to accommodate all the eligible candidates. If you can’t rise to the level of detachment from the self, be happy and comfortable with the love of self as long as it’s an intrinsic part of you. Just let it work FOR you, and not AGAINST you.

Actually, letting self-interest motivate you is what you do all the time. Self-interest is the ignition that sets the human engine in motion. When we were in a lower stage of evolution and not much more advanced than the other animals, our sense of self-preservation goaded us on to hunt for food, seek shelter from the elements, and fight for our territorial rights. When our minds evolved and acquired intelligence, that sense of self-preservation also underwent a change. It was no longer content with necessities for survival. It developed the desire for acquisition of knowledge and material things. It learned to yearn for power and authority. It became the drive and the push in practically every human endeavour.

All along you’ve been letting self-interest motivate you instinctively, without thinking about it. Now that you’re using it consciously, you strengthen that motivation. All right, you’re increasing the stature of that Number One Persona. Sure, you’re enhancing your love of self. Why shouldn’t you? If the method you use serves you, and no one is hurt or put to loss, more power to you! Give that Number One Persona as much importance as you feel he deserves.

Granted, using self-interest as a driving force towards self-improvement is not the ideal method. When a person seeks to improve himself, it should be through a spontaneous urge and a genuine wish to evolve into a happier and more productive person who can do more for himself and others. But when neither the urge nor the wish is strong enough, an alternative goad should be found. Otherwise that person stays precisely what he is, or he deteriorates. Take the example of the eradication of hatred. That emotion must not be allowed to fester. It must be removed from your breast, whatever it takes. If you cannot do it through bigness of heart, then do it because of love of self. If the ideal motivation does not spur you, let the next best one do the job.