THE NUMBER ONE PERSONA - PART 1

Article By
KAYSOON KHOO

It’s not a comfortable thought, but for practically each and every one of us, the greatest motivating factor is self-interest. Every single act you perform and every effort you make is for the advantage, benefit or happiness of that most important person of all – you yourself. Do you ever ask yourself why, of all the five pronouns in the English language, only “I” is always capitalised? And why is this all-important “I” referred to as the FIRST person in both speech and writing?

Consider this. When you strive for your loved ones, your friends, your community, your country – the possessive noun “your” is invariably present. If you are religious-minded, your very quest for heaven, salvation or the ultimate liberation is also for that most important person in your life – YOU!

Think of a life of righteousness and virtue as a path. You are a traveller who tries to walk that path. You are NOT one who shows that path for the weal and happiness of others. When you strive for perfection, you are doing it for yourself, not another. Face it – however you look at it, the Number One Persona is always there.

Of course there are exceptions to the rule. We know there are those who have the magnamity of heart and the altruism to forego self-interest and place the welfare and happiness of others before their own. But these persons are very few and far between. It takes a very noble spirit to “give until it hurts”, as the saying goes. It’s almost superhuman because it goes against love of self. Most of us do not possess that nobility of spirit. And the saddest thing is the realisation that most of us never will. But that doesn’t mean we should not try to attain that ideal. The very attempt to reach perfection will work an improvement in us in some degree or other.

Let us take one example of such greatness of heart. In years past, when the treatment and prevention of leprosy was in a much less advanced stage, those afflicted with the disease were segregated from society and placed in colonies to prevent contagion. There were volunteers who offered their services, in one way or another, in these colonies so they could allay the sufferings on those stricken with the disease. Those volunteers opted to live and work among those striken with the incurable disease. They did it with full awareness of the high risk that they themselves would contract the disease through close contact with the lepers. Likely as not, those volunteers ended up being afflicted with the terrible disease. But they were prepared for that fate when it overtook them. It was a price they were willing to pay when they set out on their mission of mercy.

Today, there are numerous volunteers of charitable NGO’s who endanger their safety, health, and even lives to lend their assistance in situations which pose very real danger to themselves. I shall not identify any of these organisations or cite examples of their courage and selflessness in the missions of mercy they carry out. If you read the papers, listen to the news or surf the net you will know who these unsung heroes are. You’ll realise just how much they contribute. Like those voluntary workers in leper colonies they set aside the consideration of their own welfare and stretch out the hand of selfless love.

How do the rest of us contribute? By donating money, collecting needed items, arranging for shipment, or perhaps providing temporary accommodation for victims of disasters. No matter how much we commiserate, that’s about as much as we can do. How many of us would have the guts and the magnanimity to risk our safety and our lives for the sake of those whom we don’t even know? Our love for that “number one person” will prevent us from taking that drastic a step. It is not a happy thought but it IS a fact that most of us are incapable of making that sort of sacrifice.

If you’re still not convinced how strong an influence attachment to the self has over you, ask yourself this question. Are you capable of bestowing as much love on another’s child as you do your own? I’m not talking about a child who’s in your care or custody; or one whom, through familiarity, you’ve learnt to love like your own. I’m talking about a child you’ve never seen before. The child of a stranger. Look at him; then look at your own child. If you’re able to radiate the SAME degree of affection to both, kudos to you! You’re the kind who can light a beacon to guide others along the road of life.

But if you can’t, you don’t have to castigate yourself. You’re like most of your kind, save for that very small handful who have mastered true detachment. We’re not concerned with them. This blog is about how to seek joy and fulfillment in our lives. Those people have already passed the level we’re trying to reach. Their joy and fulfillment lie in the happiness and welfare of others.

What has been said so far is not meant to paint the majority of humanity in an unfavourable light. It’s intended to highlight the overriding trait in the human race, so you’ll know what you have to contend with when you strive for self-improvement. You have to recognise the truth about yourself before you can make that change which will make you a happier, more fulfilled person.

 

 

(continued in Part 2 )