THE NUMBER ONE PERSONA - PART 3

Article By

KAYSOON KHOO

 

 

Whenever you wish to implant something in your mind, you must use the POSITIVE approach. Say “I am free of anger” instead of “I am NO longer angry.” The “no” is a negation. Your mind wants an affirmation, a firm assertion that something is SO. If you give it a “no”, or tell it that something is NOT so, it will latch on to that idea and come up with no response or something entirely negative.

Of course the healthiest and the best thing you can do for yourself would be to forgive that wrong done you. Don’t laugh. It’s not impossible. If it were, those great teachers who have come and gone, those giants among men, would not have advocated forgiveness. Depending on the circumstances and upon how magnanimous you can bring yourself to be, you can direct your thinking into two channels if you wish to try forgiveness.

First, try to recall whatever good about that person which you personally know for a fact, or which you might have heard about from another quarter. If that doesn’t work, be glad that you’ve never done another the injustice that he did to you. Consider how easy it is to err. Forgiveness gives you a chance to prove to yourself how big you are. “To err is human, to forgive divine” is NOT a trite expression, even in this cynincal age. Reflect on this because it’ll help.

But before you even begin to attempt forgiveness, you have to cleanse yourself of that animosity you feel, that negative emotion which darkens both your mood and your life. Unless you first rid yourself of that poison, don’t even bother to try the path of forgiveness. It’ll never work. You’re trying to treat a sore by applying medication to it without first removing the scab.

That little formula you were told to recite to rid yourself of your animosity is self-talk that works for you. Some call it auto-suggestion. Your mind is your mental computer. The data you feed into it is displayed on the monitor of your emotions. If you really care for your mental and emotional well-being, you’ll watch out for the kind of data you key in.

The above is only one instance of how you can make your self-interest serve you. You can resort to the same method each time you face a situation which calls for a turnabout of your emotional reaction to that situation. Do it every time you are swamped by an emotion that upsets your mental equilibrium. Don’t let an enervating or corrosive emotion work havoc within you. Your emotions colour your moods, your days, and ultimately, your life. You want the canvas of your life to show a painting that lifts the spirits, not a reproduction of Dante’s Hell.

Controlling and manipulating your emotional response is not the only way you can make your self-interest serve your needs. Next time you want to try kicking a bad habit or acquiring a useful one, try thinking about how much you love yourself. The same goes when you try to undertake something which requires a lot of effort, patience and perserverence. If you ever feel like throwing in the towel, think WHO will ultimately benefit if you keep on at it until you succeed. Even if you’re not doing it for yourself but for your loved ones or your dependants or friends, the word “YOUR” keeps flashing before your eyes.

Don’t knock this human attachment to the self and don’t feel guily about it. If this constitutes sin, there won’t be a hell big enough to accommodate all the eligible candidates. If you can’t rise to the level of detachment from the self, be happy and comfortable with the love of self as long as it’s an intrinsic part of you. Just let it work FOR you, and not AGAINST you.

Actually, letting self-interest motivate you is what you do all the time. Self-interest is the ignition that sets the human engine in motion. When we were in a lower stage of evolution and not much more advanced than the other animals, our sense of self-preservation goaded us on to hunt for food, seek shelter from the elements, and fight for our territorial rights. When our minds evolved and acquired intelligence, that sense of self-preservation also underwent a change. It was no longer content with necessities for survival. It developed the desire for acquisition of knowledge and material things. It learned to yearn for power and authority. It became the drive and the push in practically every human endeavour.

All along you’ve been letting self-interest motivate you instinctively, without thinking about it. Now that you’re using it consciously, you strengthen that motivation. All right, you’re increasing the stature of that Number One Persona. Sure, you’re enhancing your love of self. Why shouldn’t you? If the method you use serves you, and no one is hurt or put to loss, more power to you! Give that Number One Persona as much importance as you feel he deserves.

Granted, using self-interest as a driving force towards self-improvement is not the ideal method. When a person seeks to improve himself, it should be through a spontaneous urge and a genuine wish to evolve into a happier and more productive person who can do more for himself and others. But when neither the urge nor the wish is strong enough, an alternative goad should be found. Otherwise that person stays precisely what he is, or he deteriorates. Take the example of the eradication of hatred. That emotion must not be allowed to fester. It must be removed from your breast, whatever it takes. If you cannot do it through bigness of heart, then do it because of love of self. If the ideal motivation does not spur you, let the next best one do the job.

 

THE NUMBER ONE PERSONA - PART 2

Article By

KAYSOON KHOO

 

 

 

Self-interest is the greatest motivating force that drives you. Simply because of that, it can be used to work FOR you when you strive for self-improvement. Think of it as water which flows everywhere. If you do nothing about that water, it will run into every nook and cranny and cause untold damage and inconvenience. But if you channel it, you can use it in ways that benefit you, such as for irrigation, water supply or transport for floating vessels.

And just how do you go about making your self-interest work an improvement in you? Begin by regarding this involvement with the self in a light that’s less harsh. Don’t think of it as selfishness or sinfulness. Don’t regard it as something that retards spiritual growth. Just recognise it for what it is – the predominant trait in most humans. When you are wrapped up in self-love, you want the best for yourself at all times. Which means you want to be your own best friend. You want to do all the things that give you the utmost benefit or pleasure. Therein lies the key.

You will agree that certain traits, habits, attributes and reactions invariably bring you grief and suffering. Let’s just take one of them – an emotion, which like every other, is a reaction to external circumstances or your own thought process. The emotion I want to use as an example is hatred. When you harbour hatred, you burn yourself up. No matter how you appease that hatred, it still harms you because of its corrosive nature.

Let’s assume that you positively hate another person. If you so much as think of him, you see red. There’s nothing you would love more than to pay him back for what he’s done to you. That person has wronged you grievously and you imagine that what you feel towards him is justified. Everyone else who’s familiar with the situation is of the same opinion. Let’s leave them all out of the picture and concentrate on you alone.

There’s no denying the fact that the intense animosity you feel towards that person is eating you up. You nurse that hatred by constantly remembering the wrong done to you. You play a certain scene over and over in your head or you commit certain facts to memory and nourish them with the waters of remembrance. But your hate binge is affecting your psychological and emotional health. If you continue to indulge in it, it’s going to affect your physical well-being too. You know that the best thing you can do for yourself is to let go, to forgive and forget.

 

But this is easier said than done. What that person did to you was really dastardly. It takes a saint to forgive and forget. And, like most us, you’re no saint. I’m not saying you haven’t got what it takes to be a saint. That’s something you’ll have to find out for yourself. But right now you have malignant growth within you called hatred and you have to rid yourself of it as quickly as possible.

Here’s where you let your inherent self-interest take over and serve you. You may not be a saint but you’re your own best friend. You want what’s good for yourself. Now ask yourself what your feelings are doing to you. You’re actually flaying yourself with an invisible whip because of that person.

He has already harmed you by the wrong he did to you. Are you going to let him keep on harming you? By no means! But the only way you can prevent that is to rid yourself of that rage which makes you contemplate murder. You cannot forgive him, no matter how hard you try. Let’s leave that for the moment, and not fight it. Go back and examine your situation. Your feeling of animosity is inflicting on you mental torture! The irony is that it’s entirely voluntary! You do it just by keeping your hatred alive. You’ve got to purge it from your system immediately!

Begin by telling yourself that you are set on a course of self-liberation. That’s what it really is. You are freeing YOURSELF. You deserve to be free of this canker inside you and you will have no more of it. You want ease of mind because you deserve to be happy. Observe how the element of self-interest comes into the picture. You always have more incentive when you do something that benefits yourself.

Try saying certain things to yourself, things you can believe and accept. Say something like, “I’m shutting that person out of my mind completely. I’m putting away the past. I’m letting my anger go and freeing myself completely. I’m doing this for myself. I’m doing this because it is good for me. I can do this because I am strong. I am strong and always in control.”

Write down those few lines and memorise them if you have to. Repeat them in your head again and again. Think of what those words mean, particularly that part about it being good for you. If you keep drumming that message into your mind, it will believe you. In time your mind will free itself of that feeling of anger and hatred. It WILL because it’s performing that task for that all-important person, YOU. When you are freed from that emotion, you’ll feel as if a heavy chain has slipped from around your neck.

Those lines that you repeat to yourself are actually an affirmation. You CONFIRM that a certain thing is so. “I’m letting my anger go.” Period. That’s all there is to it, as far as you’re concerned. You’ve made a definite statement to your mind and you want your mind to accept it and act upon it.

 

 

 

( continued in Part 3 )

THE NUMBER ONE PERSONA - PART 1

Article By
KAYSOON KHOO

It’s not a comfortable thought, but for practically each and every one of us, the greatest motivating factor is self-interest. Every single act you perform and every effort you make is for the advantage, benefit or happiness of that most important person of all – you yourself. Do you ever ask yourself why, of all the five pronouns in the English language, only “I” is always capitalised? And why is this all-important “I” referred to as the FIRST person in both speech and writing?

Consider this. When you strive for your loved ones, your friends, your community, your country – the possessive noun “your” is invariably present. If you are religious-minded, your very quest for heaven, salvation or the ultimate liberation is also for that most important person in your life – YOU!

Think of a life of righteousness and virtue as a path. You are a traveller who tries to walk that path. You are NOT one who shows that path for the weal and happiness of others. When you strive for perfection, you are doing it for yourself, not another. Face it – however you look at it, the Number One Persona is always there.

Of course there are exceptions to the rule. We know there are those who have the magnamity of heart and the altruism to forego self-interest and place the welfare and happiness of others before their own. But these persons are very few and far between. It takes a very noble spirit to “give until it hurts”, as the saying goes. It’s almost superhuman because it goes against love of self. Most of us do not possess that nobility of spirit. And the saddest thing is the realisation that most of us never will. But that doesn’t mean we should not try to attain that ideal. The very attempt to reach perfection will work an improvement in us in some degree or other.

Let us take one example of such greatness of heart. In years past, when the treatment and prevention of leprosy was in a much less advanced stage, those afflicted with the disease were segregated from society and placed in colonies to prevent contagion. There were volunteers who offered their services, in one way or another, in these colonies so they could allay the sufferings on those stricken with the disease. Those volunteers opted to live and work among those striken with the incurable disease. They did it with full awareness of the high risk that they themselves would contract the disease through close contact with the lepers. Likely as not, those volunteers ended up being afflicted with the terrible disease. But they were prepared for that fate when it overtook them. It was a price they were willing to pay when they set out on their mission of mercy.

Today, there are numerous volunteers of charitable NGO’s who endanger their safety, health, and even lives to lend their assistance in situations which pose very real danger to themselves. I shall not identify any of these organisations or cite examples of their courage and selflessness in the missions of mercy they carry out. If you read the papers, listen to the news or surf the net you will know who these unsung heroes are. You’ll realise just how much they contribute. Like those voluntary workers in leper colonies they set aside the consideration of their own welfare and stretch out the hand of selfless love.

How do the rest of us contribute? By donating money, collecting needed items, arranging for shipment, or perhaps providing temporary accommodation for victims of disasters. No matter how much we commiserate, that’s about as much as we can do. How many of us would have the guts and the magnanimity to risk our safety and our lives for the sake of those whom we don’t even know? Our love for that “number one person” will prevent us from taking that drastic a step. It is not a happy thought but it IS a fact that most of us are incapable of making that sort of sacrifice.

If you’re still not convinced how strong an influence attachment to the self has over you, ask yourself this question. Are you capable of bestowing as much love on another’s child as you do your own? I’m not talking about a child who’s in your care or custody; or one whom, through familiarity, you’ve learnt to love like your own. I’m talking about a child you’ve never seen before. The child of a stranger. Look at him; then look at your own child. If you’re able to radiate the SAME degree of affection to both, kudos to you! You’re the kind who can light a beacon to guide others along the road of life.

But if you can’t, you don’t have to castigate yourself. You’re like most of your kind, save for that very small handful who have mastered true detachment. We’re not concerned with them. This blog is about how to seek joy and fulfillment in our lives. Those people have already passed the level we’re trying to reach. Their joy and fulfillment lie in the happiness and welfare of others.

What has been said so far is not meant to paint the majority of humanity in an unfavourable light. It’s intended to highlight the overriding trait in the human race, so you’ll know what you have to contend with when you strive for self-improvement. You have to recognise the truth about yourself before you can make that change which will make you a happier, more fulfilled person.

 

 

(continued in Part 2 )

 

STARTING YOUR DAY RIGHT - PART 3

Article By
KAYSOON KHOO

When you've recited to yourself that magical formula before the mirror, you've put yourself in the right frame of mind. Sustain it while you’re taking your bath, preparing your breakfast and getting dressed for work. The longer you maintain that buoyant spirit, the more it intensifies, and the longer it stays with you.

How do you keep that good feeling alive? Do something spontaneous, like singing or humming a tune under your breath as you go about your little tasks. Be careful what song you pick when you fill your head with music. Let it be one with a happy connotation. Songs and their lyrics leave subtle impressions in our minds. Look at the lyrics of hymns and religious songs. Why do you think they are composed in that special way?

If you don’t know any appropriate songs, hum “Jingle Bells”. Never mind if it’s June; that little ditty is replete with happy connotations. Or let a lilting tune run through your head whenever you get a dose of what is known as “the blues”. If you’ve ever heard Mantovani’s rendition of the Swedish Rhapsody, you’ll know that some tunes literally make the heart dance.

I’m not going overboard in insisting that you sing or hum the right kind of song. Music hath charms, but it can swing your emotions either way. There’s a particular oldie composed and recorded by Simon and Garfunkle way back in the sixties, with lyrics that go:

A winter’s day, in a deep and dark December.

I am alone, gazing from my window to the streets below,
On a freshly fallen, silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock, I am an island.

Look at the words – deep and dark December, I am alone, silent shroud of snow, I am an island! The implication is that the singer is strong because he cuts himself off from the rest of humanity! If that’s so, why did someone assert that “no man is an island”?

What MOOD does the song try to put you in? It gets even worse in another verse :

And I have no need of friendship;

Friendship causes pain.
It’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain.
I am a rock, I am an island.

These are messages you DON’T want to relay to your inner self! That’s why I’m saying you can’t just sing ANY song to lighten up your spirits. Simon and Garfunkle’s “I am a Rock” isn’t tailored to make you feel happy. It’s meant to do the OPPOSITE. The lyrics are the outpourings of someone who’s given up on life, love and himself! How do you think your mind will respond if you keep planting within it the ideas suggested in that song? Stick to Jingle Bells.

Another thing you can do to preserve that happy feeling is to insert into your mind a picture of someone, the very thought of whom gives you a warm glow inside – someone you love very much. That person could be your child, who’s still in his cot, fast asleep – your wife, who’s in the hospital, recovering from an operation – your good friend, who’s gone overseas to advance his job prospects – your grandfather, who’s dead, but whom you’ll always remember with the deepest affection.

It need not even be a person. It could be your pet, your little dog who goes into a frenzy of happiness each time you return home from work. It could be a place that you frequent when you want to get away from it all, and just enjoy the closeness of nature. It could be a picture you’re painting, which you consider your best effort so far. It could be a particular view you always enjoy looking at when you take the bus home each day. Just latch onto something that gives you a good feeling.

Those with religious convictions can use a religious icon – such as an image of Christ or the Buddha – to lift up their spirits and put them in the proper frame of mind when they encounter difficulties in their daily lives.

Whether you use messages or images to give yourself that inner lift, DO IT at the very start of each day and KEEP IT UP as the day progresses. Try your best not to let anything get you down.

Remember ALWAYS that each and every emotion you feel is a product of your own thoughts. That being the case, to shift an emotion that works against you – such as irritation, anger, fear and worry – simply replace the thought in your head with another.

Try repeating to yourself slowly, dwelling on the purport of the words, the following statement again and again until it sinks in deep within your consciousness: “I am always deeply relaxed, and in full control of myself in every situation.” This is a message your mind can readily accept. After all, you’re not telling yourself you can sprout wings and soar above the rooftops. What you’re telling yourself is something your mind can absorb and digest. And what your mind believes and accepts, it brings about. You’ll find that you really BECOME a person who is calm, self-collected and always in control.

The key to success when you use these methods, or any other for that matter, is CONSISTENCY. Keep at it, day by day, all your waking moments or as often as you can. The loveliest thing about this exercise is that it never wears you out. The more you practice it – and experience its effects – the more you want to indulge in it. This, you might say, is one form of addiction where the benefits are immeasurable and the ill-effects nil.

Start your day with the conviction that you are meant to be happy and that happiness is everyone’s NATURAL state. If you don’t already know this for a fact, you’ll find out the truth for yourself when you get into the habit of starting each day right and letting a positive frame of mind sustain you for the rest of your day.

 

Enjoy your day, enjoy your life!

 

 

STARTING YOUR DAY RIGHT - PART 2

Article By
KAYSOON KHOO

 

 

Now for that formula, mantra, incantation (think of it anyway you like) that you’ve been asked to recite. “Good morning, John! You are a wonderful person, and a happy and productive day awaits you!”

The very first word “good” has the most positive connotation among all the words in your entire vocabulary. It denotes the quality of every single thing you ask from Life. You treasure your good health, you want to earn a good living, you value the friendship of all your good friends, you try to be a good person – in short, “good” is the predominant colour you want to see on the canvas of your life. We're agreed on that, aren’t we? Good.

“Morning” signifies not only the start of a new day, but the start of another stretch of waking hours in which you can make the right choices. Every single passing moment gives you the opportunity to make a choice. It presents you with an option. An option to do, say, feel or THINK as you please – especially the last. NO ONE can deprive you of the freedom to plant whatever thought you want in your head. The word “morning” indicates the bright start of all these opportunities.

Never mind if you worked the night shift, went to bed at eight in the morning, and got up at three in the afternoon. Wish yourself “good morning” instead of “good afternoon”. The word “afternoon” tells you more than half the day is gone. And the afternoon is hardly the most salubrious part of the day. It simply doesn’t have the bright promise of the beginning of a new day. So stick to “morning” and IMAGINE its invigorating freshness all about you.

The next word you utter is your own name. Instill warmth and affection into your voice when you say your name. It means you love and accept yourself for what you are. So, all right, you may not be the ideal person (how many of us are?) and you may have many shortcomings (how many of us don’t?). That doesn’t mean you cannot be better than what your are right now.

Strive to improve yourself by all means, but UNLESS you can love yourself in spite of all your imperfections, you CANNOT really love anyone else. You cannot give anyone money when you don’t have a single cent to bless yourself with. In other words, if you cannot love yourself, you become a machine, something totally incapable of affection. Scary thought, isn’t it?

That’s why you have to regard yourself the right way when you speak your own name out loud. Have a high regard for that person you see in the mirror. His weal and woe are your sole responsibility. NO ONE can ever uderstand him and know him the way you do. If you don’t LOVE him, how can anyone else do so?

The next thing you tell yourself is that “you a wonderful person”. You don’t have to squirm with embarrassment when you say this, even if modesty is your middle name. You really ARE a wonderful person. For that matter, so is each and every human being who lives and breathes.

WHY are you wonderful? Consider what you are. You belong to the specie at the very top of the food chain. You are a unique creation of Nature with the special gift of intellect. You have the great privilege of choice in thought, which in turn gives you endless options to do what you wish with your life. And no one else is quite like you. There is NO exact duplicate of you in this whole word; no, not even if you have an identical twin. If all that isn’t wonderful, try to figure out what is.

The last part of the message you deliver yourself when you look in the mirror says, “A happy and productive day awaits you.” The two most significant words are, of course, “happy” and “productive”. Let’s examine each of them in turn.

Like every normal person, you want to be happy. When you tell yourself the day holds happiness in store for you, you are promising yourself you’ll generate that happiness within you throughout the day. It MUST come from the inside. Happiness is one article you cannot pick up from the shelf. You have to manufacture that product yourself if you want to enjoy it.

Neither is happiness a windfall. It’s not stepping out of your house and finding a hundred-dollar note someone has accidentally dropped. If you look at it the right way, finding a hundred-dollar note never gives as much joy and satisfaction as earning a hundred bucks through your own efforts or talent. You can pocket that money, but the knowledge that it isn’t really yours won’t go away. There will also come the gnawing thought that the person who dropped the money may not be able to afford its loss. A conscience that bothers you is not quite the ingredient to put into the pot when you want to stir up something with a happy taste.

No, that isn’t the kind of happiness you wish for yourself during the day. You wish for happy circumstance, but you do not want gain at the expense or loss of another. What you really wish for is that bright, optimistic, confident mood that lets you enjoy the challenge of your work, the company of your colleagues and everything you experience throughout the day. THAT is the happiness you ask for yourself at the start of each new day. FEEL that happiness even as you wish it on yourself.

Now, take the other word “productive”. A non-productive day is a useless day, and all the non-productive days strung together constitute a useless life. No right-thinking person wants that for himself.

As your day progresses, you want to fill your time doing things which are of benefit to yourself and others. You do just that if you devote yourself whole-heartedly to your job duties. What you do benefits the company, and what benefits the establishment you work for benefits you too. After all, you’re part and parcel of it. You want to feel that you belong to the crew of that boat in which you’re sailing, not a mere passenger. You want to help row that boat instead of sitting idly and letting others get you to your destination. That’s why you’ll find that the sense of satisfaction you derive from a good day’s work is priceless. You need neither praise nor approbation because you yourself KNOW the volume and quality of your output.

That doesn’t mean you are only productive when you keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel. You also do that when you help a colleague solve a problem or give an encouraging word to another. You are helping them cope in a situation which presents difficulty for them. You are contributing. There are countless ways in which you can contribute. Just use your eyes and your brain and you’ll see them. Give and grow. Life gives everyone endless options for personal growth.

You are also being productive when you do anything which benefits yourself. Dropping in at a bar and having a beer to unwind after a hard day’s work is productive because you need that break. The same goes for a workout out at the gym. Or taking in a movie. Or making love with your partner. Or even shooting the breeze with a friend and relaxing. Enjoy yourself all the way and you’ll derive the benefit. And benefit is what productivity is all about.

You NEED all those recreational activities because they make you feel good. When you feel good, you can do more for yourself and for others. In short, you become even MORE productive.

You don’t have to be fanatical when it comes to the concept of productivity. Not everyone can feed the millions, or come up with a new invention which proves itself a boon to mankind, or make major decisions which benefit the nation at large. Just do what you have to do to the best of your ability, with the right frame of mind, and you are productive all the way.


( continued in Part 3 )

STARTING YOUR DAY RIGHT - PART 1

Article By
KAYSOON KHOO

 

In an earlier article, I touched on how we should begin our day. Let's now have a look at exactly how we may go about it in this three-part article.

The minute you open your eyes each morning, remember to thank the Universe. Say the words “thank you” out loud. Let the first emotion you feel as soon as you awake be that of gratitude. This emotion works wonders when it comes to seeking blessings from Life, because unless you are grateful for what you already have, you don’t deserve more!

You have plenty to be grateful for. First and foremost, you’re still alive. Don’t take that for granted. To be able to wake up to another day is not something that’s guaranteed to everyone when he closes his eyes for sleep each night. Some never get to open them again. That’s why sleep is sometimes referred to as the “little death”. Think of that and treat each day as another gift from Life.

There are a host of other things you should be grateful for. The ability to think is one of the most precious gifts Life gives you. When you have this gift, you have CHOICE! What choice? The choice to plant whatever thoughts you want in your head. The choice to decide each and every single act you perform, as well as every single word you utter. The choice to feel good if you want to.

Feeling good is a personal choice, whatever the circumstances that surround you. You may be sweltering under the scorching sun of the Sahara -- and feeling grateful that you're not gripped by the freezing cold of the Antartica. Or vice versa. Sometimes fate sketches on your canvas of life. But it always allows you to choose the colours you wish to dab onto the canvas. In short, when you move your lips, you decide whether they should droop or tilt.

Let’s assume that the alarm you have set in your clock woke you up. You reach for the clock to switch off the din that grates on your ears, and instead knock it off the bedside table. You swing your legs off the bed to bend down and pick up the clock, and stub your toe against the thing. You feel the sudden pain, but don’t curse. Just say “oops” and leave it at that.

You go to the bathroom and find that you’ve run out of toothpaste. No matter how hard you squeeze, nothing will come out of the tube. Push down that wave of irritation that rises in you. Don’t make a big thing out of it. Just force it out gently but firmly by giving a shrug and saying, “So what?” Make do the best you can with tap-water and a dash of salt. And remember even more firmly to get a fresh tube on your way home from work today.

Anything can go “wrong” for you when you start your day. There may be sudden water-rationing or power disruption, the car may develop engine trouble, the workers of the bus service you use may go on strike – anything at all can happen.

When things happen, they either suit your convenience or they don’t. Actually, these things are neither “wrong” nor “right”. Some of them just happen. They’re unforseen and there’s nothing you could have done to prevent them. Others happen because YOU allow them to – like the car's engine trouble or the shortage of toothpaste. Whatever they are, nothing is solved or rectified if you allow yourself to be irritated.

Adopt the smart approach. Take a deep breath and ask yourself what's to be done next. It works for all the most successful and happiest people you can find anywhere.

Always choke back that curse word. Don’t let it be your automatic response every time something goes wrong in your life. It never makes you feel better or relieves your feelings. It merely aggravates the foul mood you’re already in. Giving vent to your anger or irritation through obscenity or blasphemy is not the answer. The more you do it, the more the habit grows on you. Learn how to keep it in check and abstain from it altogether. Then see how much more you’re respected and liked when you move among others.

Here’s something you can do to start your day off right. Go the bathroom, rinse your face with cold water, then look in the mirror, give your reflection a great big smile, and wish yourself good morning – out loud. And don't forget to put enough lilt in your tone. You know full well the impression a tone of voice can make. Don't let your "good morning" sound as if you're saying, "Oh no, not another day!"
 
If your name is John, say, “Good morning, John! You are a wonderful person, and a happy and productive day awaits you!"
Don't say those words by rote. FEEL that it’s indeed a great morning, FEEL as wonderful as you tell yourself you are, BELIEVE that a happy and productive day awaits you, and ANTICIPATE it.

Don’t think of this exercise as childish or inane. It is NOT! By smiling at yourself in the mirror and addressing yourself this way, you are programming the right data into the computer of your mind. All those words you have uttered have purport. Let’s examine them and see what you have just told yourself.

But before we do so, let’s first consider that smile you give your own reflection. When you smile at your reflection, it smiles right back at you. So it is with the world. When you flash a happy look at those you encounter, they’ll beam back the same warm response to you. Not ALL of them, naturally. Some may be so wrapped up in their own dark moods, they won’t have a smile for anyone. But you won’t care! What’s important to you is the lift in your spirits you feel when you give away a smile – which, as someone so aptly puts it, is worth nothing until it’s given to another.

 

 

 

( continued in Part 2 )

 

 

RICH AND POOR

Article By
KAYSOON KHOO

Two men arrive at a village together. One rides in a chauffeur-driven limousine and the other on a rickety bicycle. Their stations in life are as far apart as the north pole from the south. One has everything money can buy, the other possesses only the clothes he wears and the old contraption he pedals.

The proprietor of the village inn rushes out to welcome the man in the limousine. As the wealthy man is alighting from his posh vehicle, he notices the poor man, who happens to be cycling past.

"My friend," the rich man calls out to the other, "I would gladly exchange this limousine for your bicycle -- if I could learn to ride it. And you know I mean it from the bottom of my heart."

The poor man on the bicycle nods sympathetically. Then, as a gesture of  kindness, he alights from his bicycle and helps the rich man into his wheelchair.